You’ll notice that these are the raw transcripts of the series. As such, they have no scene directions or character identifiers.
But if you’re looking for a written version of what is actually said on screen… this is it!
If you’re looking to compare it to the original script, it is most of this one.
Rock on, you transcription loving dude!
Team Leader Eps. 4 “The Spill, Scrapbooks, and Sally”
-I think Cake is dead.
-Are you off your nut? The key to keeping the Martin Wells account has just committed suicide, and you want to be the one to tell Miss Foxy Roxy?
-Oh, I forgot. You’re going to get fired.
-Me? I didn’t kill her.
-It’s standard office protocol. However brings the problem to the boss is the problem to the boss. Uncle Reggie has taken care of everything. Brooke is going to talk to Roxanne.
-Brooke. So?
-So?
-So?
-So what are you doing going through a dead woman’s belongings?
-Correction. Sifting through. Sifting.
-It’s for our scrapbooks.
-Oh, I remember Cake’s scrapbooks. In the back I’ll leave a little room to document the Martin-Wells Presentation. She worked so hard.
-You’re doing a scrapbook.
-We’re all doing a scrapbook. If you’re not with us, Brooke, you’re against us. It’s freedom. What’s your problem with freedom, Brooke?
-What? Russell’s okay with that. I called it. He heard me. Only a team leader gets a double desk, right? And Cake is not our team leader anymore. So there is an open desk, right?
-What did Roxanne say?
-Nothing.
-Nothing? You were in her office for 45 minutes. Reggie had a whole mental breakdown and started calling me Sally in the time it took you to talk about nothing?
-A woman died here today, Sally.
-I know you’re lying.
-Where’s all my shit?
-I’ll tell you where your shit is if you tell me what the shit’s going on.
-You don’t actually know where my shit is do you?
-Maybe I do; maybe I don’t.
-I’m going to go with option two. Hey, where’s my wireless headset and my Charlie Brown paperweights?
-You won’t be needing the stress-reducing antics of Charlie and his Peanuts posse. Everyone knows you’ve been fired.
-I knew it.
-I don’t know whether to be pissed or to laugh at what a moron you are, but it’s one or the other for sure.
-Mixed feelings are so underrated.
-What the fuck, Guy?
-It is Guy.
-What the fuck. Guy.
-I heard that you were fired.
-Heard from who? And what? What, you’re looking for souvenirs?
-No, no. I have a niece, and her name is also Brooke. And well, you know, it is her birthday tomorrow and she is turning six and I thought that this would, uh… I was going to cut it. She’ll probably really like it.
-Tell her to use it in good health.
-Oh, merci.
-So it’s true? You’re fired? Well, that’s it for me. You live together; you die alone. You’re the only reason I wasn’t fired years ago.
-Or pulled a Cake.
-Is that a thing already? Pulling a Cake?
-I don’t know. I’m trying it out. Thoughts?
-Bit soon. A bit.
-Look under your monitor.
-“Plan A”? “Plan B”?
-Contingency plans. I’m A; you’re B. Open B.
-“So, Brooke’s been fired. Step 1: open envelope.
-Pardon me. Those are confidential company files.
-That’s right, and we’re going to take them straight to the competitors and start the bidding.
-That’s step 2.
-That’s right.
-There will be repercussions, Alice. The entire weight of Connectrixx will come crashing down on your pretty little skull.
-Is there a joint in this one?
-Where’s my envelope.
-No one cares if you get fired.
-I have kids to feed.
-You’ve got cats to feed.
-They are young cats. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re trying to make fun of the bald guy in the office, eh? Well, I’ve got a snake too, and I will bring him into the office, and that would fuck with your mind.
-Just stop it. Just stop.
-Stick with the plan. If you’re gone, I’m going with you.
-I’m not.
-Alice, don’t be stupid. You are not going anywhere.
-Now you’re in for it. Roxanne’s coming out.
-Could I have everyone’s attention? Please meet in the lounge immediately. I have an announcement.
-I won’t think less of you if you run.
