You’ll notice that these are the raw transcripts of the series. As such, they have no scene directions or character identifiers.

But if you’re looking for a written version of what is actually said on screen… this is it!

If you’re looking to compare it to the original script, it is the middle part of this one.

Rock on, you transcription loving dude!

Team Leader Eps. 2 “Kitchen Confidential”

-Late night again, Cake? Burning the midnight oil?

-I think Cake is dead.

-I think you’re dead.

-Well, dead… Dead like what? Dead inside? Dead serious?

-Dead like empty-bottle-of-pills dead.

-Can you imagine dying at work?

-She made this. A dead woman made this.

-Someone has to tell Roxanne.

-It’s so like Cake. Remember when she found that rat squashed by the photocopy machine? She sat Shiva because she thought the rat had those Jewish sideburns.

-Someone has to tell Roxanne.

-This is a real tragedy. How does somebody go from being your team leader to being your dead co-worker like overnight?

-I think it was the pills. Someone has to tell Roxanne.

-Dude, people stopped doing the whole fake deaf thing like a decade ago.

-So overly dramatic. I mean, killing yourself at work? It’s a little unnecessary. It’s like HBO in here.

-Okay, how long can we leave Cake at her desk like that before someone’s going to notice?

-Shit.