You’ll notice that these are the raw transcripts of the series. As such, they have no scene directions or character identifiers.

But if you’re looking for a written version of what is actually said on screen… this is it!

If you’re looking to compare it to the original script, it is the first part of this one.

Rock on, you transcription loving dude!

Team Leader Eps. 1 “The Discovery”

-Late night again, Cake? Burning the midnight oil?

-Oh, what kind of cake do we have today? I do hope it’s apple caramel. Nothing beats your apple caramel. Same as yesterday.

-Someone had fun last night.

-Look.

-Don’t “look” me.

-I couldn’t do it, okay?

-I thought I going to that girl-in-your-shirt-by-the-fridge moment. Not that half the girls you bring home would fit in your shirts.

-Thanks. Last date you had was with Pac-Man.

-Idiot. You spilled coffee on your shirt.

-Nobody ever finds that funny but you.

-It’s a good thing I’m hilarious. Can’t wait for lunch.

-Reg, you’re staring. More than usual.

-Check this out.

-Morning, Cake. Working hard or hardly working?

-I wish I slept that deep.

-I wish you didn’t sleep with music.

-I find Nickelback soothing. Deal with it.

-I think Cake is dead.

-I think you’re dead.

-Well, dead… Dead like what? Dead inside? Dead serious?

-Dead like empty-bottle-of-pills dead.

-Some of us have work to do.

-Hey, Cake. What’d you bake today?

-Go.

-No.