TEAM LEADER
Episode 6: "Reservoir Frogs"
INT. BROOKE'S BEDROOM MORNING 1
Brooke watches in the mirror as he tucks in his nicest shirt.
Squares his tie. Satisfied, he turns to leave... not noticing a
huge RED BORSCHT STAIN on the back of his shirt. He swings an
immaculate jacket over his shoulders. Lookin' good, feelin'
good…
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ALICE'S BEDROOM LATER 2
As Brooke passes, Alice comes out on cue, as impressively
dressed. That they are color coordinated is no mistake.
EXT. CITY STREET LATER 3
A la "Reservoir Dogs", Reggie, Alice, and Brooke, all matching,
strut in slo mo, looking cool, tough and focused despite the
array of goofy props they carry. Brooke's got a big stuffed frog
under his arm, Reggie's got some sort of fishbowl…
INT. OFFICE LATER 4
Roxanne walks up to Reggie.
ROXANNE
You guys have really come through for
this company. I'll just brush up on the
numbers, if you'll pass over the report.
Reggie hands it over, a subtle grin on his face.
REGGIE
Everyone knows the key to a successful
client presentation is... the
presentation. The longer their eyes are
upon you, the less their eyes are on the
papers. Documentation is the past
presentation, the future. Before they
know it... POOF! The presentation is
over, they're smiling and you've sold
them on something without them ever
having flipped a page much as I've done
to you…
He steals the report back from her.
REGGIE (CONT'D)
…Smoke and mirrors.
He struts off, proud of his accomplishment. Alice pops her head
in:
ALICE
They're here.
INT. BOARDROOM LATER 5
The clients from Martin Wells are ushered in. Roxanne ad libs
greetings. A motley crew of sour faces and wrinkled foreheads
follow AGNES MARTIN WELLS, aged matriarch of the company.
Bringing up the rear is a single young face: handsome, well
dressed TREVOR.
As they enter, Roxanne hands them presentation packages.
AGNES MARTIN WELLS
I told you it would be cold in here. It's
always cold in here. Cold last year, cold
this year.
TREVOR
Our deepest condolences about Kate's
passing.
ROXANNE
Thank you. Before we begin, can I get
anyone anything?
AGNES MARTIN WELLS
A heat lamp.
ROXANNE
No? Great! Let's get started.
She takes a seat. Reggie walks in, his game face on. Turns on a
overhead projector:
ON PROJECTOR: The Connectrixx Players present: A Reggie Marshall
Production of...
ALICE/BROOKE/REGGIE
The Martin Wells 2006 Presentation!
Alice flicks off the overhead lights. Reggie hits play on a
stereo. The sound of OCEAN WAVES, other beach noises fill the
dark boardroom.
REGGIE
(soothing)
Serenity. Calm. Serenely calm. Take a
minute and feel the stress cascade off
your shoulders.
Wash away like sand castles at high tide.
Feel it? Good. Because that's how a
Connectrixx client should feel.
Lights turn on. Alice and Brooke are running on the spot. The
audience is unsure of what's going on, but Trevor is kinda
enjoying it. The skit begins:
BROOKE
Morning, Janice. Out for your morning jog
along the beach?
ALICE
Just like every morning, Bill. Say, did
you happen to catch that snazzy new
Martin Wells billboard by the overpass?
BROOKE
Martin Bells?
ALICE
No, Martin Wells. You know, the company
who leads the 18 to 25 male demo in the
disposable oral care category?
BROOKE
Why no! I've never heard of them. Their
marketing and branding company must not
be doing their job!
ALICE
Balderdash! I wish there was some way of
showing you how Contetrixx serves the
Martin Wells brand
Reggie 'appears'.
REGGIE
I'll grant your wish! I am the ghost of
Quarterlies Past! I'm here to take you
back in time and show you the great job
Conectrixx has done in the past year!
Reggie runs over and flickers the lights, signaling time travel.
A slide is projected on the wall.
REGGIE (CONT'D)
Here we are, a mere twelve months ago,
when Martin Wells was struggling through
a 12 percent marketshare loss...
Agnes and co. are unimpressed. Off Roxanne's nervous face...
INT. BOARDROOM LATER 6
War skit. War sounds from the stereo. Brooke's tie is a bandana.
BROOKE
(screaming)
We're in the trenches for you every day!
Who are we fighting!?
ALICE AND REGGIE
Traditional oral care buying habits, sir!
BROOKE
Nobody buys just one toothbrush in a
lifetime! Nobody!
The clients shrink from Brooke's tirade...
INT. BOARDROOM LATER 7
Alice kisses the big prop frog.
ALICE
Hey! Nothing happened! I didn't get my
prince!
REGGIE
This is problem of managing consumer
expectations.
The clients actually laugh, getting into it. The presentation is
starting to pick up...
INT. BOARDROOM LATER 8
Alice and Brooke are newlyweds. High drama.
ALICE
We've only been married two days. And
you're (CHOKE) leaving me?
BROOKE
I can't do it anymore. You haven't
brushed your teeth once! It's over...
ALICE
I forgot my toothbrush! I've made a
terrible mistake marrying you. I should
have married Cedric!
Reggie "bursts" in.
ALICE (CONT'D)
Cedric!
REGGIE
I'm here, Norma. And I've brought you…
disposable toothbrushes. One for home,
one for work, one for the car. But it's
too late for me... I'm dying!
The clients react GASP! What's going to happen next? Trevor
enjoys as well, amazed his bosses are buying this.
INT. BOARDROOM LATER 9
The players are wearing fishbowls as fake space helmets. We hear
the scene's punchline...
BROOKE
Well, you see 1 9 Alpha G, Martin Wells
is the future.
The clients roar with laughter. Trevor laughs, despite himself.
For a moment, he locks eyes with Alice. Alice blushes, looks
away, and turns the lights off. Reggie throws her a glare.
REGGIE
(whispering)
No, that was a dim. Dim!
She flicks the lights on. Reggie and Brooke are waiting for her,
kneeling side by side. She rushes over and climbs up, completing
the human pyramid.
REGGIE (CONT'D)
A business relationship is only as strong
as its teamwork.
Brooke steps out of the pyramid, and takes his jacket off.
Loosens his tie. Rolls up his sleeves, during...
BROOKE
Here at Conectrixx we're hard at work
ensuring that people are going to trade
in their old toothbrushes for a Martin
Wells smile. But we're not the only
Sylvester's grin fades as he notices the borscht stain on the
back of Brooke's shirt. The clients shuffle nervously, until...
SYLVESTER
Excuse me... I'm sorry. Looks like is
that a stain?
Brooke turns, trying to look at his back. All eyes on the stain,
no one notices Trevor, bored from the break in action, flips
open the presentation document. One look and he knows something
is wrong.
BROOKE
Yeah, I guess... huh. What is that?
TREVOR
What is this?
Agnes and Sylvester notice their colleague's concerned
expression.
AGNES
Something wrong Trevor?
TREVOR
This document. It's all wrong.
REGGIE
Back to the presentation
TREVOR
These numbers… is this report from last
year?
Roxanne swallows hard. The jovial atmosphere from a moment ago
is gone.
BROOKE
Uh... the figures are from What? No!
Busted.
TREVOR
I mean, it says right here 'Gary Didden'.
Gary hasn't worked at Martin Wells in
eight months.
All the clients look at the report. All heck breaks loose.
AGNES MARTIN WELLS
And it's too cold!
Sylvester pulls out last year's report.
SYLVESTER
Is it. Look it's identical in every
respect. I mean, how did you expect to
get away with this?
TREVOR
Did you just do a global search and
replace? I mean the years go from oh
four to oh six. The page numbers go from
oh four to oh six...
SYLVESTER
(off a chart of market share)
We've owned Frampton Markuson for the
last four months. It was the single
biggest merger of non floss dental care.
ROXANNE
Perhaps we'd better adjourn...
SYLVESTER
We'll be moving to a new branding agency.
AGNES MARTIN WELLS
One with heat.
SYLVESTER
Nice try, Roxanne.
Meanwhile, in a corner of the room
TREVOR
Wow. Sorry, I didn't mean to, you know,
bring the smack down or
ALICE
Oh, don't worry about it. It's... you
have something on your shirt...
She points at his chest. Taps him on the nose. They both laugh.
Brooke and Reggie stand at the front of the room...
REGGIE
Nice stain. I should have never left you
in charge of wardrobe!
BROOKE
I knew this was a bad idea! Alice, didn't
I tell you it was a bad idea! Alice?
Reggie gestures to Alice. Putting Trevor's number in her phone.
BROOKE (CONT'D)
(way too loud)
Jesus Alice! Now you're going to fuck the
corporate stooge like you fucked us?
The room freezes and stares at Brooke, shocked. Reggie slowly
slides toward the door, and bolts from the room, leaving Brooke
very much alone...
END
