TEAM LEADER
Episode 3: "Double Desked"
INT. CONNECTRIX OFFICE DAY
Everyone rushes to leave early. Alice takes one long, confused
look at Roxanne's closed door before exiting.
INT. ROXANNE'S OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER
Roxanne sits in her oversized plush chair. Brooke struggles to
get comfortable in the shitty wooden armchair across her desk.
Not looking forward to this conversation.
ROXANNE
Think the place's cleared out yet?
BROOKE
I didn't make a list... but the chorus of
weeping seems done.
Roxanne SIGHS and kicks off her heels. Brooke watches his boss
rummage through her packed purse before pulling out a smoke.
Lights it. Off his look:
ROXANNE
I know. It's filthy. Don't judge me.
BROOKE
Didn't you bet Guy a hundred bucks you
quit?
ROXANNE
(deep exhale)
Welcome to management, luv.
Brooke's had enough chit-chat. Getting right to the point:
BROOKE
You know, I haven't accepted your offer
yet.
ROXANNE
Oh, come on. Haven't I kept up my side of
our deal?
He was hoping she wouldn't bring THAT up.
BROOKE
Yeah...until now.
Roxanne ashes in her 'World's Best Godmother' trophy.
ROXANNE
Look, the thing about one of your
employees kicking it in the office -
other than it being bloody unfortunate,
of course is that it doesn't make it
any easier. Between the government
squeezing small business and the American
dollar all but rubbish...it's hard. Now,
back home...
BROOKE
Back home...?
ROXANNE
London. The Queen's Commonwealth. Over
there, someone walks into your office and
sees a bunch of frowdy-dowdies, well,
they don't give it a second thought. Over
here, now, they don't see enough smiles,
and it's goodbye Charlie.
BROOKE
You're calling us frowdy-dowdies?
ROXANNE
Listen. The Martin-Wells presentation is
Monday. My sole mission is to make them
happy. I need someone to put the
finishing touches on what, I'm sure, is
another near flawless presentation like
last years'.
BROOKE
I don't know the first thing about the
presentation.
ROXANNE
You've been working on it for three
months, right?
BROOKE
Honestly, Roxanne. I don't do a thing
around here.
ROXANNE
Don't you think I know that? Shit,
someone needs to take control of the
minions. What this team needs...is a new
leader.
Her look says it all. So does his. A standoff.
BROOKE
No.
ROXANNE
It's a bump in pay.
BROOKE
No.
ROXANNE
Flex time --
BROOKE
No.
ROXANNE
You get a double desk. Three to a cube.
Room for more of those Charlie Brown
figures you like, and --
BROOKE
Roxanne, no. It's not for me.
She sees in his eyes that he's serious. Not budging.
ROXANNE
Why do you have to make this so hard,
Brookie? Don't make me beg.
BROOKE
Please don't.
Roxanne adopts that 'whiny teenage girl' voice that gets them
out of traffic tickets.
ROXANNE
C'mon...there is so much riding on this
presentation. I need your help. Your
mind. Your body. Your...
BROOKE
Stop.
ROXANNE
It's exactly the same job you're doing
now, just with more perks.
BROOKE
Only I have to tell people what to do--
ROXANNE
Exactly!
BROOKE
-- and I'm not willing to do that.
ROXANNE
(checking the clock)
Okay. No more games --
Seizing the moment, Brooke quickly stands.
BROOKE
(interrupting)
Thank god. See you tomorrow.
On his way out --
BROOKE (CONT'D)
On Saturday.
Brooke exits.
INT. OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER
Brooke walks back to his cubicle. The office is empty. Or so he
thinks. Captain Annoy-o is still at his desk.
Brooke passes without salutation and turns to the coat rack in
the corner.
BROOKE
Where's my denim?
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
Oh. I wore it home last week. I thought
it would be okay, we're cube buddies.
BROOKE
You took my coat?
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
There was a breeze.
BROOKE
Well, ya! And now it's breezy again -
and I'm without a coat. Do you often take
other people's things home?
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
That's for me to know, and you to find
out. And regardless, I do so much around
here...
BROOKE
What do you do exactly? You recycle your
five jokes and jack people's outer wear.
I mean, what are you even still doing
here?
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
I like to be the last one to leave. After
work I like to walk around and check the
wastebaskets.
BROOKE
For what?
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
For contraband. Isn't it obvious?
After today, I might have to be the first
one in, too. Cake was in before me… and
look what happened. Not that I'm
responsible. But for sure: last one out.
BROOKE
What are you talking about? There's no
one else here!
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
You're here.
BROOKE
Yeah, but I'm leaving.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
Then I'll walk you out.
BROOKE
What if there's someone hiding in the
bathroom? Waiting for you to leave?
Screws up your whole plan.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
(holding up list)
I've got a list.
Brooke can't believe it. Beat.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O (CONT'D)
In times. Out times. Lunch. Great thing
about Excel is you can cross-ref --
BROOKE
Every day?
Captain Annoy-o unlocks a drawer on Brooke's desk. Opens it to
reveal a catalogue of files detailing each day. He traces his
finger over the files with proud satisfaction.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
Nothing escapes my attention. As an only
child, I developed the discipline to --
BROOKE
You have a key to my desk? I didn't even
know it was locked.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
Exactly. You have no handle on your work
space. When was the last time you
actually used it for 'work?'
He runs his hand through the files, pulls one out.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O (CONT'D)
May 5th. Brooke edits internal memo.
Misspells 'internal.' I-N-T-U-R-N--
BROOKE
Pack your stuff. As your team leader, I'm
gonna need to take over your work space
for all the work I don't do.
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O
That's so funny I forgot to
laugh.(laughs)
Off Brooke's insistent look:
CAPTAIN ANNOY-O (CONT'D)
You? Team Leader? Mr. May 5th?
BROOKE
Yeah. And I'm double-desking you.
Brooke leans out of the cubicle. Shouts across the office to:
BROOKE (CONT'D)
ROXANNE?
She opens her door. A waft of smoke cascades out.
BROOKE (CONT'D)
I'm in.
END
